COUNTRYSIDE YARNS
Tall Tale or Truth? You Decide!
Back By Popular Demand…Jackson and Annie McFrie!
Part 3
by Janis Stein

Join me in the conclusion as Jackson McFrie makes a midnight visit to Farmer John's cellar for a taste of choke cherry wine.

It just so happened a neighbor girl was visiting her friend, so she, too, was ushered into the car. Upon turning into the McFrie driveway the little girl decided right then and there she was not entering Jackson's house for fear she may never come back out again! Children, though, listened to their elders, and when Jackson invited one and all inside, the little girl grabbed her friend's hand and in they went.

Scared half to death the little girl took in all there was to see. Wood and debris were piled high to the ceiling, the soot-blackened walls, the only décor. Chickens, free-ranging through the kitchen were another sight to behold, and the smell from the smoky room was almost more than the little girl could withstand.

When his neighbor was ready to leave, Jackson thanked him kindly for the pig's head, telling him to set the tub down anywhere. When his neighbor replied he'd like to take the tub back home with him, Jackson instructed him to throw the pig's head into a metal pot sitting nearby. The aged pot had clearly seen better days; filled with holes and filthy throughout, there the pig's head peeked from the brim. The little girl couldn't help but wonder just how long that head would stay in the pot, before Annie got around to taking care of it!

As the years went by, the McFrie's health took a turn for the worst, and one of the neighbors decided it was best to contact Doc O'Neilly in Harbor Beach to see if he could make a house call. Writing the directions down in his sloppy doctor's scrawl, Doc O'Neilly assured the concerned citizen he would be out within the day.

Doc O'Neilly packed his black medical bag, and hurried to his car. With fiery red hair and a temper to match, the Doc was all business. He was never one for many words, and all his patients knew they had better pay attention when the Doc spoke because it wasn't likely he'd repeat himself.

Double-checking his directions before setting them aside, Doc O'Neilly pulled into the driveway of Jackson and Annie McFrie. Medical bag in hand, he made his way to the door. When no one answered his booming knock, the Doc let himself inside.

Everywhere the Doc looked inside that first room, debris was piled to the ceiling, and the place smelled as if the area's wildlife had taken over the house long ago. As the redness in his neck crept up toward his face, Doc wondered what kind of a joke had just been played on him, sending him on a wild goose chase to a deserted house. He had better things to do.

Out to the car he stormed and, throwing his car in reverse to turn around, gravel spun in all directions in his wake. He was going over to the neighbor's house - the fellow who had called him out. His temper rising, he would give the prankster a piece of his mind!

Now the neighbor knew Doc O'Neilly had a mighty temper, and he met the red-haired chap at the door, inquiring how he faired at the McFrie's. Doc sputtered a string of words so long and so grand, the neighbor was in shock; he had never heard the Doc say so much all at once!

After a good deal of explanation, the neighbor finally convinced Doc O'Neilly the McFrie's really were inside that house, he just hadn't gone in far enough. Back to the McFrie's the good doctor went, and this time he toured the house until he found them. Disbelief, followed by wonder and more disbelief filled the Doc's mind when he stepped around the chickens in the kitchen. Dismay entered into the mix when he spotted a young calf tied to the bedpost and, finally beneath the bed covers, he spotted his patients, Jackson and Annie McFrie!

With a bit of care and minimal medicine, it didn't take long for the McFrie's to regain their health - they were tougher than most. And it didn't take long for folks in the neighborhood to know Jackson and Annie were back on their feet either. Sundays were a day of rest and a time to socialize in the afternoon hours. Jackson was as social as they came!

Many a lady cringed in embarrassment, shock and disgust if Jackson stopped by for a visit on Sunday afternoon. Quickly shuttling the children out the door for fear they would see way more than they needed, the ladies of the house tried to look away. Jackson never was one to remember to zip his fly, and an accidental look told any who glanced that way he often didn't have his long underwear on either!

And while Jackson, made his neighborly rounds on bright and sunny Sunday afternoons, it was under the cover of darkness that he preferred to travel. Most farmers had a barrel of cider or homemade wine stashed in their basement, and Jackson had more than likely had a sip or two from every one. This particular night, though, he had a yen for some of Farmer John's choke cherry wine.

Making his way through the woods until he reached Farmer John's property, McFrie slithered through the night. Down the cellar stairs he went, until he reached the barrel. Jackson, it seemed, had already had a bit to drink, but the thought of that choke cherry wine kept him focused. Stumbling and tripping over his own feet, McFrie made quite a raucous, and enough noise to wake Farmer John and all his family.

In the wee hours that night, Farmer John politely escorted McFrie out of his cellar. Never one to lock his door at night, Jackson helped Farmer John change his mind that night, and he has kept his door locked ever since. If McFrie roamed your neighborhood, wouldn't you?

Have a yarn you'd like to share? We'd be happy to spin it. You may write to Janis in care of The Lakeshore Guardian, 9697 Purdy Rd., Harbor Beach, MI 48441, or give us a call at 989-479-3448 to share your story.