SMILE AWHILE
More of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart

1. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
2. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
3. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
4. There is a very fine line between hobby and obsession.
5. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
8. Never lick a steak knife.
9. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
10. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
11. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. Your friends love you anyway.
14. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
15. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?